More Pre-40 Musings

I've been thinking about my friends, and everyone I've known thus far. Some people I haven't known that long, yet we share a profound understanding of each other. And others I've known quite a while, yet we have never completely undressed ourselves and stood before each other's mirror. It's strange to me now. Perhaps it just means that some friends will always retain a mystery about them, and some people will never bring out every bit of my truth.

I accept this with a little bit of sadness, but it is what it is. The other sadness is generated by the friends that just faded away, either due to relocation geographically or they just became other people that I didn't expect to not have anything in common with at some point. This has been another lesson in my life so far. When too much time passes without contact, people become strangers, and soon you avoid them in the market if you happen to cross paths. Once you laughed with them, called them regularly, shared inside jokes. Now they're ghosts in the back of your mind.

So I cherish the ones that have stuck around, and the ones I feel are in for the long haul. You know the ones - they're like great conversations you were having that you start again, no matter how much time has passed. Their whole being lights up when they see you, and yours does as well. You laugh and say the silly things that always got you both going, and you feel like you can handle life after all once you've left their company. These are the people I want to keep close to me, for as many years as possible. They have kept me strong and constantly reminded me of who I am, and never let me forget why I'm as wonderful to them as they are to me. They are life, and they keep me living.

I would love to keep everyone, but people leave, or they disappoint you and you are compelled to dismiss them. Effort is made yet they insist on going their path, and all you can do is cherish the part of your life you shared with them. You watch them leave your peripheral vision and abruptly disappear. Then you take a hearty swig of life and hope the next drink is a little sweeter.