So I made the unintentional error of discussing my personal life on this blog. Serves me right - I had intended to only focus on writings, observations and nothing too intimate, and it seems the moment I do that I leave myself open to discussions that I don't care to have out in the open.
Well, we'll get back to the original plan. No more journal entries. I'll leave that to my diary where it belongs.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Countdown
All she could think of was weather lately. She was at a point in her life that so many seasons had passed that she could conjure up the finest of details: August, hot and sticky, running from air-conditioned car to the coolness of her home, the sound of sprinklers spitting their rhythm across browning lawns. May, with the final signs that winter was over, the first day one dared to wear shorts and sandals, the sun making her feel happy and loved. And February, cold and hopeless, so wickedly cold it hurt to breathe.
She knew them well, the seasons. Once they were merely signals for new wardrobe change, now they marked the profound passing of time. She would be 40 this year, and it seemed she couldn’t avoid taking stock of her life and anticipating further reminiscing as the seasons came and went. A sign of getting old? Perhaps.
I can't believe I haven't blogged for a year. What was I doing with my time? I must have been busy, but still...need to get back into it.
So the countown begins. I'm going to be 40 and I seem to keep going through varying states of acceptance, fear, denial, depression...not too far from the five stages of grief but I think all in all I'm going forward with as much courage as I can muster. And it's not so bad. I've done some things, and I've more to do. The only thing that bothers me is that time seems to be going by way more quickly than it used to - hence my mission to slow it down somehow. I just discovered meditation over the weekend when I attended a friend's class. He has been doing it for years and we've discussed it off and on, and finally I thought I'd go and see what it was about. It was a very eye opening experience, and the people that were there weren't too freaky. So I learned one fairly simple way to get to the state of meditative bliss, and now I need to commit to doing it more regularly.
15 minutes a day and I'll see the world in a whole different light, I'm told. What better way to pave the path to middle age?
She knew them well, the seasons. Once they were merely signals for new wardrobe change, now they marked the profound passing of time. She would be 40 this year, and it seemed she couldn’t avoid taking stock of her life and anticipating further reminiscing as the seasons came and went. A sign of getting old? Perhaps.
I can't believe I haven't blogged for a year. What was I doing with my time? I must have been busy, but still...need to get back into it.
So the countown begins. I'm going to be 40 and I seem to keep going through varying states of acceptance, fear, denial, depression...not too far from the five stages of grief but I think all in all I'm going forward with as much courage as I can muster. And it's not so bad. I've done some things, and I've more to do. The only thing that bothers me is that time seems to be going by way more quickly than it used to - hence my mission to slow it down somehow. I just discovered meditation over the weekend when I attended a friend's class. He has been doing it for years and we've discussed it off and on, and finally I thought I'd go and see what it was about. It was a very eye opening experience, and the people that were there weren't too freaky. So I learned one fairly simple way to get to the state of meditative bliss, and now I need to commit to doing it more regularly.
15 minutes a day and I'll see the world in a whole different light, I'm told. What better way to pave the path to middle age?
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